This is me, age 3 or 4, pretending to be Annie Oakley. So I wasn’t always anti-gun.

Yesterday I went to Big Lots on an errand for my Mom. While there I of course perused their bargain bin of DVDs and books. Here’s what I got:

Book:
• Courting Justice (memoir by hotshot attorney David Boies)

DVDs:

• Casa de los Babys (John Sayles)
• The Science of Sleep (Michael Gondry, who also wrote Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind which blew my mind)
• Peaceful Warrior (based on Dan Millman’s iconic book)
• Man on the Moon (the Andy Kaufman biopic starring Jim Carrey)
• Chisolm: Unbought & Unbossed (looking forward to this; she’s a huge hero of mine)
• The Ground Truth (soldiers speaking about the Iraq war and its impact on their lives)
• Before Sunrise (by Richard Linklater, and one of my favorite films of all time; I have on cassette, but kind of worn out)
• Day Zero (I’d never heard of this drama; says its about what happens to three young men when the draft is reinstated)
• A Mighty Heart (the true story of the assassinated Wall Street Journal reporter David Pearl and his widow Mariane, based on her memoir and starring Angelina Jolie; I actually meant to see this but never did)
• Man from Plains (Jonathan Demme’s profile of Jimmy Carter, in very eco-friendly packaging)

I started to get State and Main, another favorite film I already have on cassette, but talked myself out of it — which I kind of regret now. Such a great film.

All of the above were $3 each, except for A Mighty Heart, which was $5. Total cost of one bestseller book (in its original publication) and 10 either excellent or promising DVDs: $35

I did manage to force myself to pass up Gigli and Madonna’s Swept Away for only $3 each. It was hard, but my will prevailed!

I often wondered what they talked about during the commercials, so to speak. Well, now we know.

By the time Gene Siskel died much too early, they really had bonded and loved each other, though maybe they didn’t say it, or recognize it until Gene was sick and the writing was on the wall. Roger Ebert has memorialized his partner and friend so beautifully since then, in a way we should all hope to be honored when we are gone.

Now Roger himself is ill, has lost his voice, but still writes and his real Voice rings pretty clear on issues beyond celluloid and art. He has stood strong to rant against the violations of our constitution, and the immorality of war. You can’t keep a spirit like that down.

That pair has brought me a lot of insight, pleasure and laughter over the years. These outtakes — biting, argumentative, silly, make me love those guys all the more.

I can’t even tell you to vote for someone deserving, since voting ended on Sunday. The results will be announced on the 21st.

Here’s the letter I sent to the organizer:

I just found out that Peace Arena was nominated. It’s probably too late, but if I’d found out earlier I would have removed myself from contention. Not that I think I have a shot in hell of actually winning, but frankly I’m embarrassed to even be on such a list this year when my blogging has been so random and inconsistent. Others have worked really hard to be regular about posting, not to even address the quality of their work.

While I have to be flattered that I was nominated, and thank whoever did so, I have to assume they are making the judgment based on past years of my blog, NOT this year. I don’t expect the Okie Blog awards to adopt something akin to the old figure skating judging standards, where you get it based on some amorphous nod to history rather that what just happened in front of everyone’s lying eyes!

I hope the best blogger wins in all the categories, which this year will definitely and appropriately eliminate moi.

I’ll be posting this on my blog, just to document my mortification.

Well, you know how it is. I also came home with:

• A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, which I’ve been wanting to read since it came out and got rave reviews with J.D. Salinger mentioned repeatedly.
• Mountains Beyond Mountains:The Quest of Dr. Paul Farmer, a Man Who Would Cure the World, a timely book about the physician-founder of the Haiti medical aid organization, Partners in Health
• Founding Brothers: The Revolutionary Generation, about the key men who founded our nation, the brilliant but flawed Adams, Jefferson, Franklin, Washington, Madison, Hamilton and Burr.

These three were on the “Buy 2, Get the 3rd Free” table. How could I resist? I also got book from the $2 “Please get it out of our store” table, The Secret Life of Lobsters: How Fishermen and Scientists Are Unraveling the Mysteries of Our Favorite Crustacean.”

Although I had an account on the site for commenting, I was never a regular reader and maybe posted once or twice; still, I feel a little dirty.

I have unsubscribed from their action e-list, and though there’s no way to delete the account on the site, I did create a filter that will send any messages to the email address listed there right into the trash.

I am also removing FDL from my blogroll. It’s “open seating” but I do have minimal standards. Unfortunately, Marcy Wheeler (aka emptywheel) will have to go too, since her otherwise excellent blog has its home there.

I’m not going to go into it; if you care, there’s Google.

Considering my self-defined mission here (online and off), this is pretty inexcusable, but I’d rather be honest that just anoint some “award winners” out of you know where and call it some kind of validation of the best (IMO).

So, in lieu of that, I’m just going to note some of the positive impressions I have gleaned this past year about relatively unheralded Oklahoma bloggers who can in some sense be considered (or just call themselves) “progressive” or liberal or Left.

And yes, I DO have some negative impressions as well, but this is not the place to air those — as a product of my culture, I do tend to get a little sentimental as the end of a purely-symbolic time cycle draws to a close.

So let’s just say up front that, in the words of our former president, blogging is hard work. Really, if you haven’t tried to do it with any kind of regularity, you just don’t know. Or maybe it takes a very specific type of person who finds it doable without feeling, in no discernible pattern, insecurity, boredom, frustration, angst, despair and embarrassment.

Therefore I just want to tip my hat to some Oklahoma bloggers who have managed to penetrate my haze this year, for their persistence, their regularity, their seeming tirelessness and their apparent ability to be completely self-motivating.

So here’s my list of 2009 bloggers who have earned my respect, just because they blogged. (And this in no way is to dismiss their other qualities as astute observers and creative writers.)

• Oklahoma Lefty — I just can’t figure out what’s “Left” about him (maybe it’s all relative to Oklahoma’s unique slice of the spectrum), but damn, he blogs like a fiend! And if you are the least bit interested in alternative music, you seriously need to follow Dave’s reflections and insights on that subject — because he’s got a lot of knowledge and passion about it.
• Carless in OKC – This blog only started in September, but has been a faithful journal of living without a motorized vehicle in a city that does not acknowledge your existence. The blogger began by saying that he did not intend to be carless, but felt that it was a journey (no pun intended) that might be interesting and offer some insights. It has, for writer and readers both.
• Deb’s House Concerts – Another blogger with passion for music, as well as other creative expression. Thoughts about politics, culture, language, horticulture, nature and anything else that comes along.

Please join me in appreciating these Oklahoma bloggers, and wish them another year of prolific output. Feel free to add any others to the list by making a comment — be sure to include a link to their site.

But I clearly am being held back by an overwrought case of blogger ethics that does not afflict many others. I need to loosen up. They’re only words, for gawd’s sake!

Digby, a very ethical blogger, does see some need for the consideration that I’m prone to, so I’m still going to err on the side of expert consensus rather than accept the practice of legislating, or blogging, half-cocked.

From what I can gather, this climate change pseudo-scandal is going to be with us for a while so if you haven’t delved into it in any detail, it’s probably a good idea to do so. The number of Inhoffian cretins bellowing on TV about hoaxes is growing by the hour. This article by Brad Plumer seems to be a good place to start.

For ongoing understanding of the science in our lives (for our lives), follow DarkSyde.

Another Oklahoma blogger’s quick take on Inhofe. Bet he didn’t hear anything like that on radio!

And that, kids, is why I’ll always be a blogger.

But I was moved intensely enough write a poem that those who have seen my small body of work say is probably the best I’ve written. Anyway, I really identified with the man, since I was working then (much as now) as virtually a full time peace and justice activist. His solitary statement was a symbol of individual resistance, the importance of even just one person making a stand for what is right.

Today is the 20th anniversary of Tank Man’s stand. In some ways, it seems to me like much longer, but I also feel like it was not but a year or two ago. Most of those 20 years have not been particularly productive ones for me — but that’s another post. It’s a time to remember, and to be grateful that democracy continues to be sought and practiced more and more around the world, however imperfectly. Some of the students who were at Tienanmen Square 20 years ago even say that China itself has become better (an article in today’s Oklahoman quotes a man who now teaches as OSU), though there are many who would argue with that. There are protests taking place in cities around the world, to call for real change for the people in China.

The fact that China has blocked a lot of internet sites for the past week or so doesn’t indicate much improvement to me — except for the fact that the intrinsically democratic medium of the Internet is a bloody headache for tyrants to control. In my opinion, if the US really wanted to spread democracy around the globe, they would make broadband freely available via satellites to every spot on the globe.

Images of Tank Man are continuing to be newly revealed — enhancing our understanding of that moment — and art created. Because passion for and commitment to love, peace and human rights will always inspire.

So here’s my little contribution to the genre. I have only altered it from the version I produced in a few hours 20 years ago in that I removed Roman numerals over each stanza, which I now do not know why I thought was a good idea. It was previously published in the Palmetto Post, a newspaper of the Florida Green Party.

(I’ve posted the poem as an image, because I have not figured out yet how I want to publish my poetry, if at all, and would like to lessen the chance of it being used until that time. I would ask that if you want to share it, that you link to this post rather than download the image. Contact me for other arrangements. Thanks.)

So I was thinking, what mean things could I do, now that my cover is blown?

How about we distribute the stimulus money, jobs and programs based on how the congressional deleations voted. Ha ha! Imagine the squawks from Inhofe on the Senate floor when that was announced. And Coburn would say “No, no, no! Can I put a hold on that?” The Oklahoman would write a sarcastic editorial about how liberals hate America (okay, they don’t really need to write it, just pull it out of the file), but point out that Carrie Underwood is from Oklahoma, and we should all be so proud.

Speaking of the Gaylord’s personal media projects, I would force them to rename their school to “Gaylord College of Propaganda and Mass Deception.”

Wal-Mart would have to unionize all their employees, and give every woman customer free birth control.

The NRA would have to hold their meetings in the most crime prone area in the chapter’s region.

Jeez, having a black heart is fun. Imagine what I could do if I had actual power or an official platform of some kind, like, oh, I dunno, state representative. I could really make people I don’t like suffer and I wouldn’t even need a rational excuse.